Courtesy of Phill4 on Flickr

Courtesy of Phill4 on Flickr

Last Sunday John and I got to spend some real time together.  More than we have had for a good number of months.  A wonderful friend volunteered to take Aaron off our hands for a few hours.  It was BLISS!

Summer decided to visit our island and thus, my mood! It was beautiful and warm as we crossed the bridge hand in hand, it felt like a first date.  Me in my heels and a little dress.  Heels…wow, did they feel good.  I never seem to get around to wearing them anymore, possibly in fear of toppling over while running to avert my toddler from walking himself straight into the river.

We sat outside along the river and lunched on steak and humitas – my favourite corn dish.  After the first Caipirinha (which was delicious), we were totally relaxed.  John was not worrying about his up and coming exam, I was not worrying about my, now overdue, assignment.  We tried to avoid talking about our little bear, but you know how things go. We found ourselves chatting about what an obviously bright and intelligent toddler we have, as do most loving parents.

After a few glasses of good Shiraz, however, we moved onto deeper discussions of our future plans together and how we would like to improve as parents.  Finally moving on to some of the more memorable times of our first year together in Amsterdam.  I blame this totally on the red wine!

For a few hours we got to stop and watch the world go by for a change.

I realized after that lunch, that John and I had been connecting on a much deeper and sweeter level than we had for a while.  Silly things seem to get between you in the mad daily rush of ensuring that everything is done.  Why was there water left on the bathroom floor after showering?  Where are the clean socks?  It is only once you step away from it for a while that you even notice it.  Having a baby has been a beautiful part of our lives so far, but it is easy to forget what you treasure about each other.

I heard a beautiful quote recently –  “The best thing that parents can do for a child is to love each other”.

So from now on John and I will be dating once again, well at least once a month.    Any volunteer babysitters?

Tips to Rekindle Romance

  • Remember why you fell in love. Did your heart skip a beat the first time you saw him across a crowded room? Remember your first weekend away, or when he introduced you to his best mate for the first time? Recalling what attracted him to you in the first place can help when things get tough – and they always do when the pressures of family life get too much.
  • Use kind words. It’s easy to take each other for granted, especially with the demands of work and kids. Often that means snapping over little things and getting angry over nothing. Try to be nice to each other and give each other compliments when possible.
  • Make time for each other. It doesn’t have to be a weekend away or even a fancy evening out. It could even be a once-a-week romantic meal at home once the kids are in bed, with the telly switched off and a bottle of good wine on the table. Try not to spend all the time talking about the kids or complaining about work, use this space to get closer together.
  • Do something nice for each other. Offer to take the kids out on Saturday so he can watch a football game with his mates, or stay home and babysit so he can go to the pub. He’ll enjoy spending some time alone, and hopefully he’ll reciprocate. Spending time apart and giving each other time alone can be an effective way to nurture a relationship.
  • Renew your vows. Letting the whole world know why you chose him can be an exhilarating feeling. And anticipating some wedding night fun and frolics can be exciting too!
  • Get physical – without having sex. If you’ve been together for years, it’s easy to go to bed without kissing each other goodnight. Get physical again by holding hands or giving each other foot massages without the pressure of sex. Close contact helps couples feel closer, and hopefully passion will follow – eventually.
  • Get kinky. You don’t have to swing with Charlie and Edna next door, but it might be worth getting in some massage oil or sexy lingerie to re-energise your lovemaking and rekindle those fires…

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